Friday, October 3, 2008

This is me...

These are my footprints; I took them last week while I was in San Diego. No, they are not as magnificent or perfect as the footprints in the famous poem, but they are mine and they are beautiful.

I was “tagged” today by a very special friend, Sharon from Mana Moon. I spent 15 minutes crying after reading her “blob” (inside joke that I just KNOW will make Sharon smile) and not because I feel sorry for her but because I didn’t think it was possible to love her more. She is a courageous and strong woman who inspires me every day!! Though we have never met in person, I feel as if we live right down the road from one another and I appreciate the bond we have hat makes me feel this way.

The “tag” I must accomplish today is to tell you six secrets about myself and then pass it on to 5 other people. My friends and family are my world, everything else is the fillers, so for those who know me, I do not hold things back (Debi’s nodding her head right about now). So, without further ado, here they are:

1. When I was 9 years old, myself and two friends were collecting empty cans for a school project; we hit all of our neighbors and even our local grocery store (I was always a determined child). On the way home we passed my brother’s friends house and decided I would ask them if they had any empty cans. It was a condo so I had to enter a courtyard to knock on the door. My two friends did not know these people so they stayed outside the fence...I should have never knocked on that door. Harold Fligg (yes, I am using his real name), the boys father, opened the door and listened to my request for empty cans. “Of course I have empty cans. Why don’t you come inside.” My instinct told me not to go in so I didn’t. He asked me again and when I said no that is when he grabbed me pulling me inside him home. To this day, I still do not know how I did it but I escaped the son-of-a-bitch but we left me scars on my right arm and left wrist from his fingernails. It seems that Mr. Fligg had just been released from prison for child molestation and the courts felt mercy on him since it was close to the holidays and gave him one year additional probation.

2. I have incredible patience but I find that once my patience has been worn I do not hold back what I am thinking. That’s not always a bad thing buuuut I struggle with cushioning the blow. I have always been a matter-of-fact person and stupid people, yes STUPID people, drive me crazy…to the point that I honest to God think I should get help! I know this doesn’t sound like a big deal but it bothers the hell out of me. Here’s a good example: my ex-fill in-boss was an absolute dumb@ss that literally sat at his desk and would fall asleep while I ran an entire department along with several installation crews. We constantly bickered with one another, then one day he asked me, “Why don’t you like me…” (I can hear Debi snickering already)…I tried to soften the damn blow but couldn’t so I told him what I was thinking (and please pardon the language you are about to read)…I told him, “Because you are a f’ing idiot and a lazy piece of sh!t. You are absolutely worthless yet I am impressed everyday that you find your way to work…I guess you need to sleep sometime…” Yep. I said that. Honestly, I do not mean to offend anyone but isn’t the point of this tag to be honest?? No, I was not fired from my job :-)

3. I am the one that found my mother dead in her bed. It is not a secret to the family and only a couple of my friends know. I don’t talk much about finding her because I am afraid that my dad will blame himself because he called me that day and asked if I had heard from her and if I would go check on her. Well, in reality, Paul and I have always blamed ourselves. We were at the house earlier that morning doing some light cleaning (Mom had not been feeling well so we would go over once a week and help out). I left to do some errands while Paul finished the house. When I came back to pick him up, she was still in bed so I thought it would be best to not disturb her. Later that day, Paul stopped by again on his way to work to check on her. He heard some noise in the bedroom so he left thinking she was up and getting dressed. It was shortly after that my dad called. To this day we believe that if….IF we would have just gone into the bedroom she would be alive today.

4. I am 37 years old…well, October 25th I will be ;-), and to this day I literally am afraid to let my feet or legs hang over the bed in fear that someone is under their and will grab them!! Really!!!

5. I am afraid to take new medicine in fear it will kill me…yet I am trying to get into nursing school. I don’t know what else to say about that.

6. I say bad words…a lot. I say “sh!t” every single day. I will even drop the f’ bomb when pushed. A-hole is another common word I use. I do my best to not say it around the kids but I admit I have slipped a time or two, or three. But, just because I say a bad word does not change who I am!

So there you have it- six secrets about me. Take it and run with it…if you come back then I know you are my friend.

Now I have to tag 5 people but I do not have five people to tag…three of them have already been tagged!! So, here are the lucky two:

Rosebud Collection- The Mum and The Rose
Harriet- Hey Harriet

I hope you take this to heart, ladies, and know that regardless the secrets, I love you dearly!


Rosebud Collection said...

Oh, I love the are close to my heart..I have always called things as I see them and the kids laugh at me..Bless you my dear friend, we are so alike..even thought there is a biggggggg age difference.

Any Occasion Boutique said...

:-D Thank you so much my dear friend!! You know, age is just's the experiences in our lives that make people differ ;-) You are wonderful!!

Josh said...

Hi Laura! You say curse words in front of kids! *gasp* But anyway, your blog is so sad and moving. I feel you Laura, I feel you. I wish you every happiness that life can possibly, or impossibly, bring. Just know that Rocki, Catherine, and my Mom are there for you, always.

Editors Note: Cheesy Bacon!

Angie Kelly Designs said...

Oh Laura, I you! ♥ LOL What a great post!! I'm sitting here a little envious of that courage you have---to say what you feel. LOL!! And I'm right there with you on the "stupid" people. I know we've talked about that before and I'll say it again. "Heeeere's yer sign" LOL

On a serious note,~~~I'm so very sorry about your mom. I don't know exactly what to say and I don't presume to understand what happened, but my wish for you is that you eventually find a sense of peace within yourself... knowing you were not to blame.

You are a wonderful wife, mother, sister, friend. I'm so glad I fit in one of those categories!!! :P


Any Occasion Boutique said...

Aawwe...thank you, sweetheart! I have heard much about you, young man, and how proud you make your shows every time she posts a blog or sends a picture....your love is written everywhere :-D

By the way...Cheesy bacon??? Have you been talking to my husband???? ;-)

Any Occasion Boutique said...

Thank you, Angie! Well, I'm not sure where I got the courage but I suspect my mother ;-) My dad tends to speak what is on his mind, too. So, I'll thank both! LOL!!

I, too, am very happy that you fit in one of my catagories ;-)

Love ya Dude!!

Anonymous said...

Oh my dear, dear friend! You know I love you SO much!!

I've been trying for hours to leave a comment but the phone rings, or the boys need something (really the older one since the youngest seems mature enough to leave a comment on your blog!! SHEESH!!! What's THAT about!?! LOL!!!), the hubby watching Star Trek Nemesis in the background, etc, etc. So here I sit, with all the insanity going on around me, and a pair of old headphones on blasting jazz so I can have enough quiet in my head to leave you a message! Oh and it's amazing how many commercials play on iTunes jazz, e-gads!!

But getting to my REAL comment is the point of all this so here goes...

I'm honestly speechless, when it comes right down to it. I adore you and you bring so much joy to my life and everyone else's. I cried by eyes out reading your secrets. I sat in horror as you talked about Mr. Fligg, "NOT MY LAURA, NOT MY POOR SWEET LAURA!!! Please God!!!"

I admire your strength and beauty so much. Your ability to speak your mind with frankness; oh how I wish I could be as strong as you. I HATE stupid people and have always had zero tolerance for them but you have the strength of character to DO something about it where I can only aspire to be more like you, sincerely. It's just the 100th monkey scenario and you're helping us all get that much closer to true honesty.

I wish I could say something funny and quirky about your last three secrets but they're all part of what makes you the wonderful YOU that you are (yeah it's a lot of "you's"). I had no idea you wanted to be a nurse and that's absolutely awesome!!

Your mom....
synchronisity... everything happens for a reason... you know we live with this understanding. So no matter what "could" or "should" have happened, things happened the way they did for a reason. I know your mom doesn't blame you, I know she wouldn't want to feel responsible. It's a tragic pain you'll live with for the rest of your life, that's true, but every day you make her proud by being the wonderful "you" we all know and love.

In the end, through your tragedies you've risen above and help raise us from ours with every laugh and smile. You're magical whit & charm, the beauty you possess inside and out, they're the gifts that make you such a treasure in this world.

Namasté (I bow to you)

Anonymous said...

Oh sh!t, that's the longest f'ing comment I've ever wrote! ;-)

Hey Harriet said...

Your ability to be so open about things is very touching & very brave. While I appreciate being tagged I'm not sure I'm brave enough to follow through on this one! I suck at tags at the best of times! I'm actually quite shy. That may not be so obvious on my blog, but I am. I enjoyed reading your secrets & I'm glad you shared them with us. I'm sorry about your mum. It sounds to me as though it was just her time. Nobody is at fault. Hope you're able accept that one day. We have a few things in common! I don't like to hang my arms, legs over the side of the bed for the same reason! Also I'm quite the guttermouth. I try to avoid swearing much on my blog just on the off-chance that my Nanna stumbles upon it ;D

You're an awesome person & you'd be a realy cool person to know & hang out with! xo

Any Occasion Boutique said...

Sharon....I began to cry again reading your comment for many reasons. Then my tears of love turned to tears of laughter after I read our second comment!!! Wow that sounds familiar ;-) Thank you Sharon touching my heart every day. A million hugs to you-

Rocki said...

(nods throughout post) You "say bad words…a lot", eh? And all these years I simply thought that was your own language!

I commend you for being so brave with your secrets. I on the other hand, am not that brave, so I will be posting some of mine on Monday. Oh, and without a doubt you inherited it from mom.

Pass the dial soap please.

With love,
your proud sis

Any Occasion Boutique said...

Ooohhh Rocki, Rocki, Rocki! My own language, eh? ROFLMAO!! Now THAT was funny!!!!

Any Occasion Boutique said...

Ahh, Harriet. No one says you have to do the tag ;-D This was not an easy tag bu, seeing that I normally don't have an issue saying what is on my mind, it made it a little easier.

You too?? I'm telling you...there is something lurking under my bed just waiting to grab my little toe! HAHAHAHA!!!!

Rosebud Collection said...

The deed is was hard doing, but I did it because you asked..